You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
