just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
