maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
