We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
