How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
