There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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