Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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