let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
