Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
