see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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