worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
