He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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