I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
