Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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