Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
