super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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