Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
