just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Shame - the story of my life.
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