First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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