Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
