I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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