White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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