fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
