I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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