TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
