She's JV to your varsity
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
