You really coming over, don't trick.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
