I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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