wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize