I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The Olympian is in my bed
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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