you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
