I'm going to jail i love you
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
