when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize