do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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