you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
