the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
