Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
