I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
