Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
