You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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