R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
