butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is it fun? or sober?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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