You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
