I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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