So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
