oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
