Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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