why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
