im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
