going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
