Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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