This is not my ceiling
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
