I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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