their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
