I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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