She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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