I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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