im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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