Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
